Behaviors That Keep You Single: Common Mistakes to Avoid


Many people desire to find a partner and settle down, but some individuals seem to struggle with finding a long-term relationship. While there are many factors that can contribute to being single, certain behaviors can keep a person from finding a compatible partner. Identifying and addressing these behaviors can increase the chances of finding a fulfilling relationship.

One behavior that can keep a person single is being too picky or having unrealistic expectations. Some people have a laundry list of qualities they want in a partner, but this can limit their dating pool and make it difficult to find someone who meets all of their criteria. Additionally, having unrealistic expectations can set a person up for disappointment and frustration when they can’t find someone who fits their idealized vision of a partner.

Another behavior that can keep a person single is being closed off or guarded. While it’s important to protect oneself from potential harm, being too guarded can prevent a person from forming meaningful connections with others. This can make it difficult to build trust and intimacy in a relationship, which are essential components of a healthy partnership.

1. Understanding Singlehood

Singlehood is a state of being unmarried or uncommitted to a romantic relationship. It is a personal choice for some individuals, while for others, it may be a result of their circumstances or past experiences. Understanding singlehood can help individuals make informed decisions about their relationships and personal growth.

Singlehood can be a time for self-discovery and personal growth. It allows individuals to focus on their personal goals, interests, and hobbies without the distractions of a romantic relationship. By being single, individuals have more time to invest in themselves and their personal development.

However, being single can also be challenging for some individuals. It can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and social exclusion. These feelings can be exacerbated by societal pressure to be in a relationship or the belief that being single is a negative reflection of one’s worth.

It is important to note that being single is not a negative thing. It is a valid and valuable lifestyle choice that can bring many benefits. However, it is also important to recognize the challenges that come with singlehood and to address them in a healthy and constructive manner.

In summary, understanding singlehood involves recognizing the personal and societal factors that contribute to an individual’s decision to be single. It involves acknowledging the benefits and challenges of singlehood and making informed decisions about personal growth and relationships.

2. Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

People who are single for a long time may be engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent them from finding a fulfilling relationship. Here are a few common self-sabotaging behaviors:

Fear of Commitment

Some people are afraid of committing to a relationship because they fear getting hurt or losing their independence. They may avoid getting too close to someone or sabotage a relationship before it becomes too serious. This fear of commitment can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it can push away potential partners who are looking for a committed relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations

People who have unrealistic expectations for their partners may find it difficult to maintain a relationship. They may have a long list of must-haves and deal-breakers that make it hard for anyone to measure up. It’s important to have standards, but it’s also important to be realistic about what is and isn’t important in a relationship.

Chronic Criticism

People who are overly critical of their partners or potential partners may have trouble finding a lasting relationship. They may focus on the negatives and overlook the positives, which can be discouraging for their partners. Chronic criticism can also be a sign of deeper issues, such as low self-esteem or unresolved anger.

By recognizing and addressing these self-sabotaging behaviors, people can increase their chances of finding a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

3. Communication Issues

Poor Listening Skills

One of the most common communication issues that can keep someone single is poor listening skills. When someone is a poor listener, it can make their partner feel ignored, unimportant, and unappreciated. This can lead to frustration, resentment, and ultimately, the breakdown of the relationship.

Poor listening skills can manifest in a number of ways. For example, someone might interrupt their partner, finish their sentences, or tune out when their partner is speaking. They might also fail to ask questions or show interest in what their partner is saying.

To improve listening skills, it’s important to practice active listening. This means giving your partner your full attention, making eye contact, and asking questions to show that you’re engaged in the conversation. It’s also important to avoid interrupting your partner or finishing their sentences, as this can make them feel like you’re not really listening.

Lack of Emotional Expressiveness

Another communication issue that can keep someone single is a lack of emotional expressiveness. When someone is unable to express their emotions effectively, it can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and a lack of intimacy in the relationship.

Some people struggle to express their emotions because they’re afraid of being vulnerable, while others simply don’t know how to put their feelings into words. Whatever the reason, it’s important to work on developing emotional expressiveness if you want to have a successful relationship.

One way to improve emotional expressiveness is to practice mindfulness. This involves paying attention to your thoughts and feelings in the moment, and then expressing them in a clear and concise way. It’s also important to be open and honest with your partner about your emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

By working on these communication issues, you can improve your chances of finding and maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

4. Lifestyle Factors


Being a workaholic can be a major factor that keeps someone single. When someone is constantly working, they may not have enough time to devote to a relationship. They may also prioritize work over their partner, which can lead to resentment and ultimately the end of the relationship.

It’s important to find a balance between work and personal life. This can include setting boundaries, such as not checking work emails after a certain time or taking breaks throughout the day to focus on personal activities.

Lack of Self-Care

Neglecting self-care can also be a factor that keeps someone single. When someone doesn’t take care of themselves, it can be unattractive to potential partners. It can also lead to low self-esteem, which can affect the way someone interacts with others.

Self-care can include a variety of activities, such as exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness. It’s important to prioritize self-care in order to feel confident and attract potential partners.

Overall, lifestyle factors can play a significant role in someone’s relationship status. By finding a balance between work and personal life and prioritizing self-care, someone can increase their chances of finding a fulfilling relationship.

5. Emotional Baggage

Unresolved Past Relationships

Having unresolved emotional baggage from past relationships can be a significant factor in keeping someone single. When someone carries emotional baggage, they may find it challenging to trust others, open up emotionally, and form deep connections with others. This baggage can stem from past heartbreak, betrayal, or abandonment, and can manifest in different ways, such as fear of vulnerability or fear of being hurt again.

To overcome this emotional baggage, individuals must take the time to process their emotions, reflect on their past relationships, and work on healing themselves. This process may involve seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness and self-care, or journaling to process their emotions.

Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection is another common emotional baggage that can keep someone single. When someone has a fear of rejection, they may avoid putting themselves out there and taking risks in relationships. This fear can stem from past experiences of rejection or feelings of inadequacy.

To overcome this fear, individuals must practice self-love and build their self-esteem. They must learn to accept themselves for who they are and understand that rejection is a natural part of the dating process. By facing their fears and taking risks, individuals can build their confidence and increase their chances of finding a fulfilling relationship.

In conclusion, emotional baggage can be a significant obstacle to finding love. By working on themselves and addressing their emotional wounds, individuals can overcome their baggage and form deep, meaningful connections with others.


In conclusion, there are several behaviors that can keep someone single. While some of these behaviors may seem harmless or even attractive at first, they can ultimately lead to a lack of connection and intimacy in relationships.

It is important for individuals to be aware of these behaviors and work towards addressing them in order to improve their chances of finding and maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This may involve seeking therapy or counseling, practicing better communication skills, or simply being more aware of one’s own patterns and tendencies.

Ultimately, being single is not necessarily a bad thing, and it is important for individuals to prioritize their own happiness and well-being above all else. However, for those who do desire a romantic relationship, it is important to be mindful of these behaviors and work towards overcoming them in order to create a strong and healthy connection with a partner.